People who have experienced some form of emotional or physical trauma can develop emotional and physical blocks which will affect not only their intimate relationships with others but also their level of comfort with their own bodies. Trauma survivors may re-experience their trauma through thoughts, feelings, memories, and other means. Re-experiencing a trauma may trigger uncomfortable emotions, and even physical sensations
Reactions to Trauma related to intimacy
This type of barrier can cause issues in their life such as: marital problems, inability to experience orgasm, physical pain (somatic) around erogenous zones and genitalia, flashbacks of trauma during intercourse or physical touch, avoidance of intimacy, rigid physical and emotional boundaries, hypersexual and risk taking behaviors, complete disconnect during sex, and more...
Tantric Sex and Intimacy
Tantra stems loosely from religious texts that focus on spiritualism originating around Hinduism. Tantric sex is a slow, prolonged, and mindful form of sex where the end goal is not necessarily the orgasm but enjoying the intimate journey and sensations of the entire body. Research shows that the aspects and practice of tantric sex may help sexual complications such as inability to orgasm, erectile dysfunction, and somatic pain.
Proponents of Tantric Sex
There are many proponents of tantric sex that can be practiced alone or with a partner. If a person is not ready to engage in intimate behaviors with a partner they can begin with self-exploration. The practice of focusing on ones breath and moving through one's own sexual energy can be learned through mindfulness meditation. Since trauma survivors will tend to disconnect from themselves and others this is a great first step to instill comfort and avoid disassociation. When a individual is ready they can also sit in front of a mirror as they explore their body in a effort to get to know themselves more deeply and heal the relationship they have with self love and self intimacy. Partners engaging in tantric sex should prepare by giving themselves plenty of time with no distractions or obligations; obviously this will take some effort but is well worth it. Partners can start by sitting on the floor facing each other (clothing is optional) one partner places their right hand on the others heart and visa versa while taking slow deep breaths. Partners should avoid following their same routine (foreplay-sex-orgasm) the idea of this practice is to enjoy the journey and each others bodies and all the wonderful sensations that come along with thousands of sensory experiences to be explored.
Through the practice of tantric intimacy a person can learn to recreate their story about about personal experiences of trauma and physical touch. Learning to use mindfulness while engaging in this experience can attune all participants to their positive sexual energy, and develop a stronger connection, When the time comes to organically reach climax participants will experience much more intense and long term sexual gratification. Tantric sex should be practiced with someone whom you trust and whom is worth taking the time, patience, and effort with; including yourself.