Trauma Nightmares: Why Healing Isn’t Just a Day Job (Thanks, Brain)
- Jessica Hope Murph LMFT, LCDC
- Apr 18
- 3 min read
So… you were just minding your own b
usiness, dreaming about something totally normal like getting chased by a headless raccoon, and then bam—suddenly you’re back in your trauma, trapped with someone toxic, heart racing, and waking up wanting to vomit. Welcome to the funhouse of trauma nightmares—also known as “surprise exposure therapy from your subconscious.”
Let’s talk about what the heck is happening, why it’s so common for trauma survivors (especially if you’ve got ADHD or CPTSD), and how to support your system when your brain decides to reboot you into your worst memory at 3AM.
Okay But Why Does This Happen??
Your brain is trying to help, but it’s doing it very badly.
Trauma lives in the body. It’s not just a memory. It’s a full-body “oh no we’re dying” response that your nervous system hasn’t fully released.
Dreams are your brain’s way of processing unprocessed stuff. And trauma is the King of unfinished business.
Triggers are sneaky. Even something empowering—like posting about your trauma, watching a show that reminds you of it, or getting close to someone—can stir up unresolved emotional gunk.
ADHD brains don’t filter well. We already have trouble regulating emotions and transitions… so when the brain’s running background processing overnight, things can get messy.
What to Do After a Trauma Nightmare
Name it.
“That was a trauma dream. My brain is glitchy, but I’m safe now.” Say it out loud. This brings your rational brain online and reminds your body: this is a memory, not a current threat.
Use your senses to ground.Trauma nightmares activate your survival brain. Sensory input = safety. Try:
Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice cube.
Grab something soft, warm, or textured.
Light a familiar scent (lavender, vanilla, or whatever doesn't smell like your ex’s cologne, please).
Move your body. Shake it out. Stretch. Walk around your room. Stuck trauma = stuck energy. Movement tells your brain "we escaped the danger."
Rewrite the dream. Grab a journal or your Notes app. Now rewrite it with you in control. You slam the door. You fly away. You’re protected by a gang of lesbian swordfighters. (Hey if I'm in control I pick my own militia) Doesn’t matter how—it’s your story now.
Repeat your safety mantra.
“I am not back there. I am safe. My body is remembering, but I am not in danger.”Yes, say it like you mean it—even if you don’t feel it yet. Your nervous system needs to hear you.
Let the rest of the day be soft. Trauma nightmares are emotional hangovers. You didn’t sleep, you survived a memory. Treat yourself like you would a friend who just escaped a haunted house.
A Little Brain Science (Because Nerding Out Helps)
Amygdala: Your brain’s smoke alarm. Lights up during nightmares like it's the 4th of July.
Hippocampus: Your memory librarian. During trauma, she panicked and misfiled stuff. Nightmares are her trying to reorganize… poorly.
Prefrontal Cortex: The logical part of your brain. She’s offline during REM sleep. So you can’t just “think” your way out mid-dream. Sorry.
Hot Tips for Reducing Future Trauma Nightmares
Nighttime routine = nervous system cue. Think dim lights, familiar scents, no doomscrolling before bed.
Therapies that help: EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, IFS, Imagery Rehearsal Therapy (rewrite the dreams on purpose!), or working with a trauma-informed therapist (hi 👋).
Regulate before bed. Try legs up the wall<(my clients know this is my favorite), bilateral tapping, or progressive muscle relaxation.
Tell your brain it’s not in charge. Journaling before bed: “Here’s what I want to process tonight, not what you’re planning, thank you very much.”
🖤Final Thoughts🖤
If you’re waking up in panic from dreams that feel too real, you’re not broken. You’re not regressing. You’re not “overreacting.”
You are a person who lived through things that should never have happened. Your brain is doing its absolute best to make sense of it. And the fact that you can name this, talk about it, and care for yourself afterward? That’s not weakness—that’s badass healing in progress.
Now go drink some water, wrap yourself in something cozy, and remember: You’re the adult now. You get to keep yourself safe.
🌈 In Solidarity and Sass,
Jessica Hope Murph, LMFT-S🖤 Your Friendly Neighborhood Queerapist Founder of Beyond Boundaries Counseling RGV www.bbcrgv.com
Need support processing trauma dreams or navigating healing with humor, honesty, and heart?I offer virtual therapy for clients all across Texas—come as you are.
Comments